The Feline Gourmand
Given that cats can't be choosers I got poor choice of dietary rekuirements while resident with the Old Fart. Stupid humans think all cats the same and that none of us knows the difference between good grub or bad and don't much care anyhow! While they stuff their gobs with all manner of de-lectable stuff they think nothing of plopping a spoonful of crap in our food bowls before returning to the dinner table full of good stuff! I make the mistake of acktually eating some kitty dreck while the Old Fart was still in the kitchen. The fool assumed I partickularely liked the taste cause he ran out and bought a life time supply of kitty dreck in a drum and now I is perpetually stuck with the same stuff nite after nite. Who know whot stuff they put in there anyhow. Whot they think they trik us with a sprinkle of seafood flavour or whotever. Only meens they carried the drums out of the factory past a fish or somewhot. Seafood my furry blue butt!!
Fortunattly the Old Fart often drink a beer too many during dinner on front of the TV and fall asleep with his dinner tray on front of him. I especialy like the steak and fries. The Old Fart wake up much later and find all the steak and fries gone but can't remember if he ate it or not. Har! Har! Thusly I can vary my dinner menu from time to time while at the same time save the fat old bugger from the excess colesteral fatts and other bad stuff! Tho I do like most things however I can warn all other kittys to avoid the chili! After all these years suffering from the after effects of chili dinners at the hand of the Old Fart - did I say hands - whotever, the burning blue farts that is the inevitable results of chili dinners is bad enuff when the Old Fart is firing them off - but when it is one self committing the crime, you can not run away and are stuk with the stench wherever you try to hide. Chili most good but after effects to be avoided at all costs. Other hot stuff the same but necessary to sample whotever is available cause lives of all cats offer few oppertunitys to sample fine cuisine and we must take advantage when we can. In the interim there is the kitty dreck and the water bowl. Oh well things could be worse and if the Old Fart eats Mexican agane tonite it certanely will be!
PS - If you must sample the chili then try the beer too!
Fortunattly the Old Fart often drink a beer too many during dinner on front of the TV and fall asleep with his dinner tray on front of him. I especialy like the steak and fries. The Old Fart wake up much later and find all the steak and fries gone but can't remember if he ate it or not. Har! Har! Thusly I can vary my dinner menu from time to time while at the same time save the fat old bugger from the excess colesteral fatts and other bad stuff! Tho I do like most things however I can warn all other kittys to avoid the chili! After all these years suffering from the after effects of chili dinners at the hand of the Old Fart - did I say hands - whotever, the burning blue farts that is the inevitable results of chili dinners is bad enuff when the Old Fart is firing them off - but when it is one self committing the crime, you can not run away and are stuk with the stench wherever you try to hide. Chili most good but after effects to be avoided at all costs. Other hot stuff the same but necessary to sample whotever is available cause lives of all cats offer few oppertunitys to sample fine cuisine and we must take advantage when we can. In the interim there is the kitty dreck and the water bowl. Oh well things could be worse and if the Old Fart eats Mexican agane tonite it certanely will be!
PS - If you must sample the chili then try the beer too!
posted by Mr. Grant at 5:39 PM
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