Lyons tigers and Bares - Oh My!

There is sum what beleif the existance of a natural order what dictates our place in the world. Persenely I know all cats is a breed apart and not governed by such stuff. Still a brief review might be in order so as to assess my position in the neighbourhood. Birds definately of small account given that I can eat them anytime thu all those feathers and fuzz get caught between my teeth and birds make so small a snack as to be hardly worth all that creeping about on my belly in the underbrush and such. Also my friend the bird has numberous bird relatives, school chums and casual flying acquaintances what I mite eat by mistake and cause him offence so I forebear to eat birds at all on account of him being my pal!

Rats is most disgusing creatures and has bad attitudes tho I can hardly be expected to murder them over poor hygiene and snotty quips! I will however from time to time smack them around if I catch them and suggest ruffly that them take up domicile somewhere else!

Mouse are simply beneathe my notice and bothering with them would paint me a bully. Tho I prefer the upper paw in any situation I am loathe to appear a bully and can empathize given that I hav been on the receiving end on more than one occassion! I hav come nose to nose with racoons - nasty bastards what pasted me most royally but since they is wild beasts they cannot be considered as legitimate incluscions in this discussion.

All dogs hate cats! Big snarly smelly bark bark bark - chase me up a tree and me somewhat overweight, a poor climber at best and mortily afrade of hites! Only to say - all dogs hate cats and persecute us most abominably!

Our most worst problem however is human chillrens what constantly pull our tales - pinch poke and otherwise annoy us until they get a facefull of claws then "Daddy, Daddy - Mommy, Mommy the evil bad kitty hurt me most terminaly". Then the old boot up the arse and I find myself flying out the back door most uncerimoniously.

What a cat supposed to do but keep our heads down and sleep the day away safe in the bosom of Morphens. What you thinks we got no edukation?? Hah! We just smart enuff to keep it quiet cause all humans already suspekt we is superior but if they knew it for a certainty it could lead to more unpleasantness as they is jealous of their supposed superiority! Better I lay about lazily - eat whenever I please and annoy the Old Fart only enuff that he dismiss me with a "Damn cat this" and "Damn cat that" but not be prompted to more dramatic action. Still I cant help myself and so lull the Old Fart into a false sense of security with laying still - lift an eyelid most lazily from time to time and try to apere as enigmatice as possible, but reek my revenge on him on opportune moments when I can be assurred of a clean getaway!














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